


the lights are so bright (but they never blind me)

by sleepyboys



Series: silent screams and wildest dreams. [2]
Category: MBLAQ, Ninja Assassin (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Death, a bit OOC, i guess, um things are solved out by not running away from your feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:17:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3749569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyboys/pseuds/sleepyboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joon needs to hide and heal, and Raizo has just the place for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the lights are so bright (but they never blind me)

**Author's Note:**

> this took an awful long time to write. i hope i can write more now that the semester is almost ending, despite finals being so close. reminder that english is not my native language, and i don't have a beta, so please excuse any and all grammar/spelling mistakes

1

He thrives carefully under Master Joo’s care, treated with the utmost care and groomed to become the finest weapon. Joongwon and Mako still make sure he retains a bit of innocence, at the same time they teach him to mask his emotions and guard his heart, for they have no place in a lifestyle like theirs.

“When I become the next Master,” Joongwon promises, as he tends to Joon’s wounds after a hard day of training. Master Joo himself has admitted he plans for Joon to be far more than an assassin, but that doesn’t mean he’s any gentler with Joon. “You won’t have to do this.” the _I will for you_ goes unspoken. Joongwon, for all he has a gentle soul and a kind heart, has always known his duty, and excels at it. He has to, after all, as the heir.

Joon can’t even mutter a simple _thank you_ in return, instead he takes Joongwon’s hand. Joongwon has always been an anchor, just like Mako. The only thing keeping him in this rotten place. Joon may have never known the love of a parent, but he still craves affection and freedom, something the clan and their clan will not give to him unless he earns it, wasting his life away by killing people, slowly killing himself.

Joongwon doesn’t let go of his hand for hours after.

-

Mako leaves a month before Joongwon is to be named heir apparent, and thus, be pulled aside for the special training, reserved to the High Masters only, and to the best between them.

She goes dutifully, as she always does. She knows the risks, knows that she will make it out of the mission with missing limbs if she is lucky, and dead if she is not so much. “Don’t worry, Joon,” she assures him, her arms tight around Joon, her lips pressing a kiss to his temple. “I will come back, only to see Joongwon our leader, and you growing more beautiful and skillful by the day. Don’t worry”

It’s the last time he hears from Mako.

-

Joon knew how cruel Lord Ozunu could be, knew the chances of Mako not making it out alive were far greater than the chances of her coming back. Still, getting the news from Joongwon himself completely destroys him, and for the first time in a while, all his shields fall, and Joongwon sees him for what he truly is: a boy, still, who has lost what little he had left in this world.

“Joon—“ Joongwon says, and Joon’s heart feels as if it were in his throat. “Just ask me, and I _will_ bring you his head, and the head of every member of that clan, full of scum.”

Joon doesn’t ask anything of Joongwon. Not yet.

-

Mako leaves a series of coded notes, talking about some of the Ozunu clan’s techniques, and of the Ozunu clan’s own people. Master Joo lets him see them, and Joon reads them. He’ll have any comfort anyone offers.

 _The most impressive among them all_ , reads the letter, in Mako’s neat writing, _is, perhaps, the shadow blending technique. Few people aside from Lord Ozunu have been able to achieve it, though Lord Ozunu seems to have faith in a particular disciple, named Raizo. I have not been able to meet him, but I have struck something close of a friendship with someone who is close to him, a young kunoichi named Kiriko. I will write again, as soon as I have more information available about said technique, and about Lord Ozunu’s favored disciple._

_-_

_Raizo is a quiet, determined, and prodigious youth. He was taken in by Lord Ozunu, as he was orphaned, and is now, if the rumors are true, the best among the Ozunu Clan. My advice would be to take care of him before getting to Lord Ozunu. As for Raizo’s constant companion, Kiriko, she is talented, as well, but does not represent a threat the way Raizo does, neither does Takeshi, another prodigy among the Ozunu clan._

_I will find out more about them if I am able to, so we can take them out if needed._

_-_

_Kiriko has been executed, and I fear the same will happen to me, soon. This will most likely be my last report._

_Tell Joon I’m sorry._

-

Joongwon offers to burn the letters, to not let a constant reminder of Mako be so close to Joon, haunting him with memories and what-could-have-been.

“I need to leave,” Joon whispers, staring into the flames as they devour Mako’s last words, and Joon’s last memories of Mako. He feels empty, and angry. Mako was his sister, the only one apart from Joongwon who cared about him, and now, she is gone, and Joon can’t even mourn her properly, because, according to Master Joo, grief and love are for _children_. Joon is so very tired of emotions being considered something proper only for children.

Joon is so very tired of everything, if he is honest.

Joongwon, behind him, wraps his arms around Joon’s shoulders, and buries his face on the curve of Joon’s neck. “You don’t have to. This is your home, as well as mine.” his breath is warm against the skin of Joon’s shoulder, and he sounds sincere enough, although they both know it’s a lie, and Joon wants to tell Joongwon that whatever he tries to make Joon stay won’t work, but, what Joongwon doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

 

2

When he is twenty two, and Mako has been gone for a long time, Amsterdam is as far as he gets from the clan and his past life, and in Amsterdam, he finds the key to what could be the start of his new life, in an agent with temperament in her eyes, but a gentle soul and a strong spirit. She reminds him very much of Mako, and perhaps that is why Joon helps her without second thoughts.

“You don’t need to repay me,” Joon tells Miss Mika, the agent whose team he just saved from certain death at the hands of mercenaries. “Any decent human would have done the same.”

Miss Mika sees right through him, though. “Name it, and you’ll have it. As long as it’s not illegal.”

“I don’t think you can give me what I need, no offense, Miss Mika.” he replies, and Miss Mika raises an eyebrow at that.

“Just say it.”

“I need a home.” he replies truthfully, and is taken aback when she smiles, bright as the sun, and reminding him more of Mako than ever. “I need somewhere I can hide.” To hide and heal. He makes no mention of Mako’s passing, so distant, yet he is constantly reminded of it.

“I know _just_ the place.”

-

The Ozunu clan’s house used to be subject of tales and rumors; a house so big could only guard the most precious treasures, and the most valued secrets, yet, before Joon, stands a ghost of the past glory of the Ozunu clan.

Miss Mika had told him everything about Raizo, and his wish for revenge for Kiriko’s death, it is not until later, that Joon realizes she’s speaking about the same man Mako met when she infiltrated the Ozunu clan.

At the look of fear in his face, Miss Mika offers him a gentle smile, and Joon mentally slaps himself. If Miss Mika can read him, Raizo, as a trained assassin, will be able to do so, too. He needs to be more careful. “He’s a big softie.” Miss Mika tells him. “He won’t hurt you, unless you give him reason to.”

After Miss Mika’s warning, the wisest thing would have been to walk up to Raizo, and ask him to let Joon stay, but Joon has always liked to take the difficult route.

He purposely leaves traces of his presence among Raizo’s now-home. If he were trying to not be found, he would not be so stupid as to leave obvious evidence, such as moving the bonsais from place to place, or taking Raizo’s bonsai-scissors. Raizo can believe he is an incompetent spy, as long as he finds Joon and lets him stay.

That is, if Raizo doesn’t kill him first.

 

3

Raizo proves to be more kind and gentle than what he looks. First, he doesn’t kill Joon (even when Joon thought he was cruel and merciless enough to do so) and then, he lets Joon stay. A bit reluctantly, and they both think it’s a bit foolish, to let a stranger barge in just like that, but he lets Joon stay.

It’s easy to see how much Miss Mika and Raizo mean to each other, since Miss Mika _did_ send Joon to Raizo, knowing fully well that Raizo could easily kill him if he so wanted, but also knowing Raizo fully well to know he would pardon Joon’s life. Raizo takes Joon’s word, about Miss Mika trusting him, and that is enough for him.

Joon finds the man… _strange_ , to say the least. Miss Mika had told him some things, a haunted look in her eyes. About Raizo, about how he had lost Kiriko, and Takeshi, his-brother-in-arms, and about how he had always been so lonely, a little company in that burned-down house of his would do him good. Miss Mika had smiled gently, as she said Joon was the kind of person Raizo should have around.

Joon is not so sure of that.

-

Raizo is certainly quiet, and always looks like he is angry, yet, he is gentle around Joon, or as gentle as a man like Raizo can be, with his deep voice and the steel in his eyes. He reminds Joon of Mako. Though Mako was as deadly a killer as Raizo, she was certainly gentler. Joon can’t deny that Raizo has a kind heart, though. Perhaps a kind heart born out of never having known kindness himself, except for the kindness Kiriko showed him.

He doesn’t tell Raizo about Mako, though. Mako was his sister, a long time ago, just like Joongwon had been his brother, and memories of them are something so _his_ , so intimate, he can’t bring himself to speak lightly of them, not yet. He barely speaks about the circumstances that brought him to meet Miss Mika, too.

“How did you meet Mika?” Raizo asks, while they sweep away the leaves autumn wind has splattered all over the garden. How Raizo managed to get the house to look decent, without anyone’s help, will always be a mystery to Joon.

He can tell Raizo this much, but he is careful to not meet Raizo’s gaze as he does so. “In Amsterdam,” Joon replies, the neutrality of his tone coming easily to him. Since birth, he has been taught how to mask his emotions. “Miss Mika and her team were in trouble, and I helped her. She then insisted on helping me with my own… _issue._ ”

Raizo’s gaze feels heavy on him, and Joon’s breath catches in his throat. “I suppose you will not tell me why you were in Amsterdam, even when it’s obvious we share a similar background.”

Growing up, people used to say Mako and Joon didn’t look much alike, for blood-siblings, then, retracted, once Mako’s temperament snapped, much like Joon’s own. _You two are like tiger cubs,_ Joongwon used to say, _so pretty, yet, still deadly._ As Raizo pronounces those words, Joon feels anger building up inside himself, and he wonders that, were Joongwon able to see him now, if he would compare him to Mako yet again.

Raizo was able to take revenge, and Raizo was not taken from his parents as soon as he was born. They both have known the cruelty of the world, yet, Raizo had Kiriko, while Joon lost his best friend to Joongwon’s own duties as heir, and could not see his sister one last time before she died.

“I can assure you we do not, Mr. Raizo—“ he does his best to calm down, though he stops sweeping and the grip on his broom becomes tighter. “I was trained to be a spy and assassin from birth. Our backgrounds are not so similar,” he replies. “At least you—“ _at least you had Kiriko, at least you had your revenge._ “Never mind.” he sighs “I’m sorry for my comment, if it offended you. I never meant to suggest my life was harder than yours, or anything of the like.”

It’s not Raizo’s fault he lost his sister, and it’s not Raizo’s fault he lost his best friend as well, as soon as Joongwon became the heir to the clan. If he is to live with this man, for the time being, he will learn to not let his feelings get the better of him.

Raizo doesn’t look angry, at all, he looks understanding. “It didn’t. It’s…alright. To be mad at your circumstances, I mean.”

By the look in his eyes, a mix of sadness and anger, Joon guesses he’s thinking about Kiriko’s unfair death.

He somehow feels himself soften up for this man. All his life, he’s build a mask around him, a perfect, doll-faced mask, and yet, to see Raizo, who is as damaged as Joon, open up in little ways like this…it certainly makes Joon feel something, though he is not sure what that is, and the little pieces that compose the shields he’s build around himself, taken care of since he was young, start falling around Raizo.

“I suppose not,” Joon concedes, his own personal offer of peace. With Raizo, there are never awkward silences, and as once settles between them, Joon thinks it’s fair enough to admit to something else. “I ran away. I was on the run when Miss Mika found me.”

Raizo hums in response. “Once you get a taste of the outside world, you start to wonder if _that_ life is all there is for you.” he replies. “Will they come find you?”

“I don’t know.” Joon replies, honestly. “They would rather pretend I never existed, than bother find me and kill me,” it’s half a lie, since now Joongwon is head of the clan, and Joongwon would never hurt him, or at least, Joon likes to think so. “Miss Mika didn’t send me here so you could protect me, Mr. Raizo. She sent me here because my people were… _wary_ of the Ozunu clan, and knowing you were the one to wipe an entire clan out, they would be wary of you, too.”

Raizo makes a noise of acknowledgement. “Don’t be so sure they won’t come sniffing around.” he tells Joon, his tone dutiful, and soldier-like. Sometimes, Joon forgets Raizo was practically trained and taught to live as a weapon and nothing more. “I trust you know what needs to be done if they find you.”

A half-smile curls Joon’s lips. “I have always known what needs to be done, Mr. Raizo.”

 

4

Another thing Miss Mika forgot to mention, besides Raizo being easy on the eyes, is that he likes to run around the house shirtless, and train in places where it’s hard not to look at him; all broad-shoulders and muscles, and despite being just a bit taller than Joon, he is definitely bigger. Joon was never able to achieve such a state of body, no matter how hard he tried, though, now, he is happy with how he looks.

It’s hard to ignore his lust, because he can’t pretend Raizo is anything but attractive. Thankfully, Raizo seems to not suspect anything, though sometimes he stares at Joon, looking like he wants something, and the next minute, looking like he wasn’t even paying attention. It’s enough to drive Joon positively mad, though he doesn’t show it.

-

The routine they’ve settled into is very much like a domestic partnership, Joon realizes. Raizo never pushes his boundaries, saving his distance, and being polite and gentle, and Joon finds himself drawn to Raizo even more than before. Being near Raizo is not as intimidating as it was at the beginning, and when a letter from Miss Mika arrives, Joon is not uncomfortable—not anymore—about being in such a tiny room with Raizo.

Just as Raizo confirms that the letter is, indeed, from Miss Mika, asks Joon to call him Raizo, and reveals his age, just like Joon does, Joon realizes he would not mind staying here, in this run-down house, by Raizo’s side.

It’s a bit scary, because no place has ever felt like home, not even when Mako was there, and not when Joongwon was there. Yet, here, he feels safe, at peace, and the happiest he’s been in months.

He wonders if Raizo feels like that, too.

-

Joongwon had always been rash and hot-headed, talented as well, but the wild-fire to Mako and Joon’s ice. Yet, Joon never thought him so foolish as to venture into the Ozunu clan’s old territory, leaving traces behind, as if he wants to be found.

Joon thinks he can convince Joongwon to turn away and forget all of this, to just let Joon and Raizo be, but then, Joongwon’s head drops, with something close to shame, and he whispers. “I have loved you for more than half my life. Don’t leave me again.”

The worst part, is that Joon finds himself wanting Raizo to be a little jealous, _just_ a bit. Instead, Raizo leaves the room silently, and Joon _is_ going to lose his mind.

-

“Joongwon, you don’t know what you’re saying,” he whispers gently, though there is no need to, as they are alone. He won’t untied Joongwon just yet because he fears he may do something stupid, but he, at least tries, to pat Joongwon’s head in an attempt to calm him down. “You do not love me, you _think_ you do. Love is for children.”

 _Love is for children_ , and yet, Joon thinks of Raizo as he speaks.

 Joon has always wanted things he cannot have.

“Come back, please,” Joongwon’s voice cracks. “Joon, I—“

Before, when they were younger, and after Mako’s death, Joon wouldn’t have been able to say no to Joongwon, for they were all the other had left, with Mako gone, but now, he won’t give in. “Joongwon, you don’t understand—“ Joon sighs. “I want to stay here. With Raizo.” he admits, more to himself than to Joongwon, truly.

-

It takes a lot of convincing, and hours of talking, but after it all, he manages to convince Joongwon to join Miss Mika as an agent and lead the clan towards a new, less-bloody, and more peaceful path.

They say goodbye at the main entrance, Joongwon using civilian clothes, for what is probably the first time in a long while.

“It suits you,” Joon tells Joongwon. “And I’m sure that whatever Miss Mika makes you wear will suit you as well.”

Joongwon half-smiles, and then stares at Joon. “Why—“ he starts, and lowers down his voice, since Raizo is nearby, and will probably hear whatever Joongwon wants to say to him. “Why couldn’t it be me?”

It’s the most honest Joongwon’s ever been with Joon; like Joon, Joongwon has always guarded himself tightly, and never let his gentle heart get in the way of his duty, but now, Joongwon only speaks the truth, without holding himself back, and it almost makes Joon wish he could return Joongwon’s feelings.

“You are very handsome, Joongwon. Kind, and considerate, and understanding. You have a gentle soul, as well, and I’m sure that, someday, you will make someone very happy,” Joon replies, taking Joongwon’s right hand in his own, with any luck, Raizo won’t catch sight of them. “But I don’t think I have an answer. I want to stay. With him, and even _I_ don’t entirely understand why, or how.”

Joongwon squeezes his hand. “I don’t know why, either, Joon. This house is very ugly, and I don’t trust that man, but if you—if you have… _f-feelings_ for him, I can only hope this will end good for you.” Before Joon can take his hand away, Joongwon presses a kiss to his knuckles. “If not, there will always be a place for you, as my right-hand. Though I sincerely hope you will never have the need to fill that place.”

Joongwon means it all, that much Joon can tell, and despite himself, he presses a kiss to Joongwon’s cheek. “Take care, and don’t give Miss Mika too much trouble.”

-

Raizo won’t ask about Joongwon, but Joon knows he’s dying to know what went down between them, and since Joon trusts Raizo—maybe not completely, not yet—he sits down next to him, and decides it’s better to tell him.

“Miss Mika said she could help Joongwon,” Joon tells Raizo, his voice as soft as he can manage for it to be. “So I sent him to her.”

Raizo doesn’t seem surprised by any of it, or amused, at the least. “It’ll be good for him.” it sounds like he’s trying to comfort Joon, in a way. Despite all this time living together, the machinations of Raizo’s mind are still a mystery to Joon.

“It will be.” Joon says. It’s reassuring, too, to know Miss Mika will really try to help Joongwon. Maybe Joongwon will be able to move on. “Joongwon has never known anyone other than me, or Mako. If he meets other people, perhaps, he will forget.”

That seems to call Raizo’s attention. “Did you acknowledge it?” he asks.

Joon shakes his head. “No. I owed him a debt, and that’s why I was as gentle with him as I could be. Love is for children.” The last bit is more for himself than for Raizo, but that, Raizo doesn’t need to know.

 

5

All his life has been running away; he ran away once Mako died and he ran away when Joongwon came looking for him, and now, he’s running away again, even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself.  _Attachment is not something you can feel_ , Master Joo had told him, _it’s the things we love most that destroy us_.  Deep down, though, Joon wonders if Raizo even has it in himself anymore to destroy anything, wonders if this isn’t just him being paranoid, and it probably is, but he’s not going to risk Raizo’s life; Joongwon may have pardoned him but the rest of the clan may not be so merciful. Leaving is the best thing. He won’t destroy someone he loves, and he won’t let that person destroy him.

Leaving is the best thing, he tries to remind himself as he justifies him leaving to Raizo. “I have spent a long time here, Raizo,” Joon tells him, putting all his things in a backpack. “And it’s obvious that no one is looking for me. I don’t want to trouble you any further.” The first part is something that Joon is not certain of, again, because of the clan and whatever enemies Joon may have ever made.

Raizo hands him something and Joon quickly realizes it’s a katana; some kind of relic that used to belong to the Ozunu clan, most likely, since it is an exquisite weapon. Their fingertips brush briefly and Joon thinks this will be all that will ever happen between them. “Write as often as you can,” he tells Joon, his tone neutral and safe; something Raizo is very good at. “And don’t cause too much trouble. Nothing Mika or I couldn’t take care of.”

Joon doesn’t know what he wants to do most: smile or kiss Raizo, but, as always, Joon wants things he can’t have. He settles for a smile. “I won’t. Thank you for welcoming me here. This was never meant to be a place for me to barge in uninvited, knowing how much it means to you.”

Raizo shakes his head slightly. “It’s alright. You being here was better than being alone.”

And it’s in that moment that Joon can’t deny it anymore: he’s in love with Raizo. Raizo who is so quiet and secretive and yet opens up to Joon like it’s the _easiest_ thing in the world, while Joon can’t bring himself to tell Raizo any more things about his past. Raizo who’s loved and lost so many times but still has it in himself to trust someone like Joon. Who wouldn’t fall for that?

He can’t deny it anymore but that doesn’t mean he’ll do something about it. “I hope that you find peace here, as I have.” Joon says, and ignores the ache inside his heart. “What happened in your past was not your fault. Just as what happened in mine’s wasn’t my fault, either.” it’s the most he can give to Raizo. The closest he’ll come to a love confession.

And as soon as he notices Raizo lifting his hand up, Joon feels like he needs to leave. “Farewell, Raizo. Live well.”

 _Never look back_ , Master Joo had taught him as well, but as Joon leaves the big house that woke something inside himself he thought he had lost long ago, as he leaves Raizo behind, Joon wants to look back and never return.

 

6

It is until after Joongwon saves him from being assassinated at the hands of old rivals that Joon comes to a realization.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Joongwon says, out of breath. He beat up all those assassins and they had to run away, so it’s understandable that he’s in the state he is in right now, but he sounds genuinely worried and surprised. “I thought you were going to stay with your ninja assassin boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. Never was, just to be clear.”

“Oh—I had assumed—“ Joongwon says, sounding genuinely surprised at that. “Never mind. Sorry. Now, just _what_ were you thinking? Scratch that, I _know_ you weren’t thinking when you left that place.”

“What do you mean?” asks Joon, as he reaches inside his backpack for the first aid kit. Joongwon’s got nothing more than scratches but treating them won’t do him wrong.

“Joon, not only the clan found out when you left,” Joongwon replies. “Anyone who’s anyone in the underworld found out, but they thought you _still_ were with us.”

“Has anyone tried to hurt you, as well?” Joon asks as he practically forces Joongwon to sit down. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he was the cause for Joongwon’s life being in danger yet again. Being the leader of the clan is no piece of cake, and the last thing Joongwon needs is even more people trying to kill him, all because of Joon.

“No, they’re not brainless, Joon. Well, kind of, to think they could go against you and come out unscathed.” Joongwon replies, and flinches as Joon tries to clean his wound with ethylic alcohol.

“You beat them all up, not me.” Joon giggles. “Stay still—“

“You still haven’t answered my question, why are you not with Raizo? I thought you lo—“ he shuts up once Joon glares at him. “Chill, I didn’t know this was such a— _sensitive_ topic to you.”

“What would you know about sensibility?” Joon mutters under his breath, but he resigns himself to talk once Joongwon just keeps staring at him. “I don’t think I should stay by his side. Not anymore.”

At that, Joongwon has the nerve to snort. “You, not doing something you wanted to do so badly? Is this the same kid that joked about challenging me so he could steal away the leadership of the clan?” Joongwon laughs again, and if feels as if Joon had never left; this is the way Joongwon used to laugh whenever they were all together, with Mako, not giving a damn about the world despite their statuses and duties. “Joon, trust me, you should. You clearly have feelings for him, as he does for you. Not to mention, that ugly house of his just makes you look prettier. I thought you liked that.”

Joon can’t help but laugh. “Joongwon, I don’t belong there.” Maybe Kiriko did belong there, maybe Takeshi did, even Miss Mika looks like she ought to be there at all times, but Joon doesn’t. The distance between him and Raizo seems to be too big for them to ever completely overcome it, and Joon is so afraid of getting his heart broken, of losing someone again. After Mako, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Not again.

“Joon, listen to me—“ Joongwon says, raising his chin and looking into Joon’s eyes. “You also weren’t one to let your fears stop you, so why let them stop you _now_? Unless Raizo really is an asshole and I was right all along, as always.”

Joon laughs again, and squeezes Joongwon’s hand. “It’s not that—it’s—“ Joongwon glares again, and Joon sighs. “Joongwon, what if he leaves? What if he tires of me? I can’t stand to lose anyone else, not after Mako.”

“Well, if he leaves, you can be sure I’ll track him down and beat him to a pulp.” Joongwon replies, smiling softly. “People leave, Joon, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop going. You didn’t, after Mako. I’m sure you could survive Raizo. Not to mention, he’s lost people, too. He knows what heartbreak and grief feel like just like we do. I doubt he wishes that on anyone, lest of all you. You’re so beautiful, who would ever want to hurt someone like you? Who would _dare_?” Joongwon replies sincerely. He doesn’t sound like he’s in love with Joon at all, he sounds more like the big brother Joon never had, and the brother he thought he had lost at the same time he lost Mako. “Besides, you can always come back. You’ll always have a place by my side.”

That’s when Joon decides that, even if it ends in heartbreak, he wants to give it a chance. He doesn’t want to run away anymore. As he hugs Joongwon, Joon knows it will all be worth it, despite how it ends (if it ends, which he hopes it doesn’t)

 

7

Raizo kisses him, and Joon feels like he finally is at _home_.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, thank you for reading! i truly appreciate it! and i truly hope i can keep writing for my other series


End file.
